Write a want ad that describes you if you were for sale.
Wanted: Middle-aged, balding, engineering type with parenting experience. Must be willing to act as chauffeur and cook. Ability to remain silent a plus. This dynamic position requires approximately 120 hours per week, but does offer some opportunity for napping in front of PBS or Rachel Ray. Mechanical and computer skills are helpful but not mandatory. Romantic services appreciated and expected. Maintaining the animal population of the household, plus some light gardening and cleaning also required. Cheerful disposition and stoic countenance applied in equal measure. While compensation is commensurate with experience, perks include kitchen table crafts and beautiful offspring. Forward inquiries and SASE to Almost, Wisconsin.