The needs meme

These are the ten things that Google says Doug needs:

  • To cool down
  • Money
  • To sell videos of my exploits
  • To be less lazy
  • TP
  • A wife
  • A good rebuking
  • Your prayers
  • New pictures
  • Track and Field statistics
  • To go
This seems pretty straight forward to me, and probably shouldn't need more than one afternoon. After I get off the couch I'm going to go and make a video depicting my struggle with TP and sell it for money. This new found wealth and prestige will make it really easy to find a wife, and having found that a good rebuking is inevitable. Plenty of new pictures are likely to be presented in court. Then track and field statistics will be used to compare me with other memes, leading no doubt to a precipitous demise. Pray for me.

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2 Responses to The needs meme

  1. a says:

    Prayers, on the way.

  2. jaklumen says:

    Bwahahahaha. Okay, you have my prayers, but please allow me to suppress another chuckle.

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