The signs are popping up everywhere. They spring out of the ground like mushrooms, and like fungi spread over huge and unsightly areas. They are mostly in the elephantine style in my county, because this a fairly affluent area filled with partakers of tea. Mostly in garish shades of red with proudness stamped all over them, and sporting the names of neophyte politicos and jaded master swindlers alike. They promise to deliver a more truthy world.
I’ve decided to treat them all as if they were advertising different varieties of cheese.
There is the stinky foot cheese. That one is obviously Wisconsin cheese. The bland American style melts well, but doesn’t have much flavor. The pungent French goes well on a sandwich, but doesn’t stand a chance of being selected. The Italian and German cheeses clash, but aren’t too bad taken separately. There is an Irish cheddar. One must carefully consider his four-cheese blend. Certain cheeses work well with fresh greens, while others only work well when baked. Nearly all of them can be used to dress a hamburger or pizza, because, dammit, that’s the kind of people we are.