Where do I fill out the request form?

Assuming that a karmic do-over is possible, I’ve decided that in my next life I want to be graceful instead of beautiful.

It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed being one of the beautiful people. Believe me, I appreciate how important winning the genetic lottery can be! Imagine if I had to work one of those tedious boring jobs because nobody thought I was interesting, ugh. Imagine always being on the B team because taller better looking people have better ideas and friends that choose!

But clumsiness, it turns out, is no picnic either. People immediately assume you are mentally challenged in some way when you trip over your own feet, or fall while going Up the stairs. And dropsiness? Don’t get me started on the things I have broken because I was distracted.

I once dropped a glass of cloudy water-paint water into the toilet, simultaneously breaking the glass and obscuring it in one whack. How many times have I stepped on that poor cat? Just completing simple tasks becomes so complicated when you are constantly knocking over things on your own desk. How many times can a person pick up the same dropped pen?

Graceful is definitely better. The next go around doesn’t even have to be prima ballerina territory, either. Just less of whatever this is, thank you.

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4 Responses to Where do I fill out the request form?

  1. LG says:

    Oh my soul brother. I am possibly as klutzy as you, if not worse. I can’t pick up a darn thing without dropping it first. The more careful I am, the worse I get. And I did chemistry in college – lab times were a nightmare to all concerned. Thank God I switched to armchair science.
    Yours would be my karmic wish too.

  2. Speaking as someone who was very clumsy as a kid, you can learn how to be graceful. I was pushed into taking dancing classes by a friend when I was in college. It was frustrating and I sometimes tripped over my own feet: but thanks to a very patient, inspiring teacher, I learned how to be aware of my physical “presence” or position, kind of like the way Zen teaches you to be present in the moment, or martial arts teaches you to be grounded and completely focused on your physical surroundings. It changed my life, and I don’t say that lightly. I didn’t completely stop running into things or dropping stuff, but it happened a lot less, and I was a lot lighter on my feet. I still struggle with sports like ice skating and skiing (balance is still hard for me), but my hand and eye coordination is better now than when I was a kid. I look forward to playing catch and frisbee with my grandkids someday. I think you can do it too! 🙂

    • Doug says:

      Dancing? Maybe not for me, but I can see where martial arts would help with body location. I do ok when I’m concentrating. When I’m distracted? Look out!

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